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Father-Daughter Purity Balls

Eww. Father-Daughter Purity Ball [tip: get a login / password from bugmenot.com].

The girls, ages early grade school to college, had come with their fathers, stepfathers and future fathers-in-law last Friday night to the ninth annual Father-Daughter Purity Ball. The first two hours of the gala passed like any somewhat awkward night out with parents, the men doing nearly all the talking and the girls struggling to cut their chicken.
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For the Wilsons and the growing number of people who have come to their balls, premarital sex is seen as inevitably destructive, especially to girls, who they say suffer more because they are more emotional than boys. Fathers, they say, play a crucial role in helping them stay pure.

Between STDs and pregnancy, it's great if a girl chooses abstinence. However, the Father-Daughter Purity Ball is saying so much more than that. It's specifically fathers and specifically daughters. If purity is so important, where are the sons? Is virginity not important for boys? If it's about encouraging virtue, why aren't the mothers there supporting their daughters?

Instead of encouraging girls to respect and value their bodies, this propagates a distorted world view in which boys are the blameless aggressors, girls are the guardians of purity, and their strong, manly fathers must protect from those silly boys. After all, boys are boys - can they really be expected to keep their d*ck in their pants? Better make that the girl's responsibility.
“Fathers, our daughters are waiting for us,” Mr. Wilson, 49, told the men. “They are desperately waiting for us in a culture that lures them into the murky waters of exploitation. They need to be rescued by you, their dad.”
Indeed, rather than encouraging a girl to choose abstinence, this promotes the idea of a girl being unable to make her own decisions about her body and needing a man to make the decisions for her. Guess who's going to make the decisions when she gets a boyfriend?

Furthermore, purity balls like this one can be counterproductive as parents are unlikely to educate their children on safe sex:
Recent studies have suggested that close relationships between fathers and daughters can reduce the risk of early sexual activity among girls and teenage pregnancy. But studies have also shown that most teenagers who say they will remain abstinent, like those at the ball, end up having sex before marriage, and they are far less likely to use condoms than their peers.
Parents: Encourage your children to wait to have sex. That's great. But encourage all of them equally - boys and girls. And, just in case the kids don't listen (as kids are known to do) teach them about condoms and safe sex. Preparing for the "what if" scenario is just common sense.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

The idea of a Father-Daughter Purity Ball is really perverse. Completely agree with what you said.

Anonymous said...

Hang on just a second, smarty pants! I don't teach my children about car seatbelts, because that just encourages permissiveness and tacit acknowledgment that reckless driving IS normal and routine behavior once they get a license.

So why would I teach my child about sex education, which is really an admission that I expect him or her to have the sexy-time, but without the consequences?

You women's libbers just don't get it. Also purity balls are hot.

Jessica said...

You're talkin' trash about something you obviously know nothing about. Go to FatherDaughterPurityBall.com. The mothers are encouraged to come to show their support and the sons are also encouraged to come to see how the fathers are cherishing these girls and holding them in high regard! Also check out the section on "Where are the Boys". It goes into great detail about how we are suppose to hold our sons accountable to these standards and how to do it in a way that is meaningful to them! These Purity Balls are WONDERFUL!!!!

Anonymous said...

omg i loved the purity ball. my dad did to it was so fun and i am definatly going again!

Anonymous said...

I am a 46 year old woman who went through life from age 10 till 28 without my dad being a part of my life. The song that is titled, "lookin for love in all the wrong places", this is what happened to me. Had I had my dad in my life and felt secure I know without a doubt my early years would have been with a lot less pain. Father Daughter Gala's are simply a way for dad's to have a special night with their daughters. A night for them to get all dressed up and to simply have fun, and to make each other a priority. I am now planning our 5th. father daughter gala. We live in a world where there is so much negative influencing our kids and more than ever girls need to know they are loved by their dads. Dads need to be an example in their daughters lives. They need to live a life of integrity and purity in every aspect of their life. If your honest you can look around in all the muck in this world and see the fatherless girls. I would amagine the only person who could say a father daughter purity ball is perverse is a person who probably themselves missed out on a close father daughter relationship and they just have yet to realize it has had a negative impact on their life.